[ my rainbow world ]

Sunday, March 04, 2007

tears flowing

what is happening? what is wrong? someone please tell her. save her from all these heartaches that come by so frequently and intensely. save her from bucket of tears that do not stop flowing. she tried so hard so hard but it all seem to go to waste. she threw away all her pride to bend down and listen, to admit and apologize to try make things right. it's just increasingly difficult to handle and so unbearable.

do people really know how to listen in depth and not just the surface? why do people have this tendency to choose to focus on pin pointing the part that they don't want to hear instead of looking at the whole picture? it's just like that blank piece of paper with only a tiny black dot, but everyone choose to focus on that dot instead of the much bigger piece of paper. why don't people learn? you? me? them?

the so-called middle child syndrome makes her really insecure. and she hates that, much as anyone else does. all she hopes for she expects is understanding and thinking in HER shoes, being really sensitive to her feelings.
Indifference drives her crazy, totally.

From young, she never felt loved, as she grew up, she learnt to seek love from friends, from people outside from home. When she found him, she pinned her hopes on him, wishing that he will be extremely sensitive to her feelings, wishing that she will be the best of girlfriend to him, putting in all she had to make it work out, just wanting to be showered with love. Is she doing all the wrong things? Is giving all wrong?

she is just so sick of herself, creating havoc creating trouble everywhere she goes.
she is just so sick of her own character, why can't she be this, or that?
why can't she be the perfect girlfriend that he will love so much and so deeply.

i love, and i wanna be loved too, badly.
i'm sorry for being who i am. i just sux big time.

Labels: heartbroken

*~[...FisHieZ & ruRu...]~* lost herself @ 3:25 PM